I’m not lost. I’m just exploring.
Looking back on my life so far, It looks like I don’t know what I want to do when I grow up. In high school, I was in the Audition Choir, volunteered at summer camp, and dreamed of living in a van or tiny house traveling the country. In college, I no longer wish to cram myself into a house on wheels, but I am still in choir. Of course, I am a double major because I simply can’t choose. It is true, I have know Idea what I want to be.
There are, however, a few through lines in my life that have guided me.
Wether I am using my voice in performance or speech, behind a camera, or typing, I can often be found telling a story. In the winter of 2018, my sister got married and I found myself walking up to the podium, with my nephew, Jack, to tell the story of my relationship with her, while Jack gave me bunny ears (pictured above). This ended up being one of the most memorable and important moments in my life.
I can also be found in charge of a group of people, despite the fact that I am very much an introvert. In high school, I was a councilor at camp. Last summer, I worked an elementary school’s summer program. If I can make a possessive impact on a person or group of people, I will go out of my way to do so. The joy of seeing someone change, even slightly, in front of my eyes, is like no other.
Of course, I am an introvert. So, often my favorite person to be with is myself. I will intentionally spend hours upon hours simply sitting or walking, often outside. If I am on the Swanson Bridge, and I’m not on my way to class, this is what I’m doing. The world of the mind never ends, and so I find great joy in just exploring it. This has led to a love of hiking, climbing, astronomy, and photography, among others. I have even considered becoming a monk. Without the chance to just contemplate, nothing listed above could be possible. This dive into the mind is what gives me the passion to do everything else.
So, I have no idea what I want to do, not because I don’t want to do anything, but because I choose not to ever be boxed in. I wander around the world of the mind and the physical world, so I can keep wondering about the mysteries of life. There’s not really job with such description that I have been able to find.